A frightening beauty

Small essay (*) on beauty, fear and death; not necessarily in that order

The translation of 'Une beauté effrayantel' was done meticulous but I think you are all aware that translations of poetry is risky business. This time I would say even more.
http://roadtonow-here.blogspot.nl/2014/08/une-beaute-effrayante.html

Beauty scares me.

I understand

better now

fear,

that joined me one day like,

a companion.

Beauty ...

at first she was bearable

or even pleasant

but it’s true to say

it was only about

trees and clouds.

Fear was absent

nonexistent.

Fear,

more present

when it was about

visual art,

literature, architecture.

The will, but mainly

the inability suffocated me.

Came the performing arts.

Fear turns into slime.

What is left is to participate,

create and  take

a nose-drive (embarrass myself).

Fear is everywhere!

And beauty?

You have to search, but you can find.

Meanwhile, yes for sure

there is thé discovery of Woman

Here, beauty and fear

merge even if

the odors of sweat

remain distinct and

I refuse to accept

love

as a extinctive

chemical process .

Then she became oppressive ...

Beauty, fear?

When exactly?

At the end,

she became radiant .

(But who’s talking about the end?)

Fear got lost when for the umpteenth time,

now in a colorless cold corridor,

I met this questioning

glance.

History repeats itself,

I only saw beauty and

scared to lose it I

keep it hidden for your eyes

as a secret weapon

to protect me against ugliness.

And if I'm afraid of beauty,

ugliness scares me even more.

Religion,

I didn't forget about it.

My god is a woman in plural and I worship them.

You my goddess would you like to,

not even for

a day, one moment

is sufficient,

bear the name of death

to help me cross the boundless lake?

I ask you,

will you be present on the final moment,

so I can look at you and take with me your beauty as a last memory?

Do not be afraid, no one can steal what you embody.

Even absent you will be there in my mind and

blinded with tears, my eyes

as true artists will paint your sweet face

in my eternal thoughts.

Beauty, fear, death

a mad medley.

(*) Literary Work with some ideas while the author does not claim to exhaust the subject.